Plumbers crack is a real thing.
I know, because it was my view for the day as work crews of all varieties came in and out of my home assessing the damage caused by a broken water heater that had flooded the living room.
As I scurried around furniture trying to keep out of the way and avoid unwanted sights, one small tool caught my attention.
On a small screen, the true condition under my carpet and inside my walls came into view. Each section that the red light hit appeared on the small screen in shades of black and orange. Orange areas were warm and healthy; black areas were cold and damaged from the water.
I stared at the screen mesmerized. From my vantage point, the walls were strong and sturdy and the carpet was clean and welcoming. Without this small tool, I wouldn’t know that anything was wrong inside.
My dog walked across the room tagging along with her worker of choice. Her outline appeared on the man’s screen, glowing in healthy orange.
How would I appear, I wondered? Would I be healthy and warm, or were there parts of me that were cold and damaged?
Long after the men and their saggy pants went home for the evening, the images on that small screen stayed in my view. The unwanted realities of the condition of my living room were slowly unveiling similarly ignored and unwanted conditions within my own heart.
To the outside observer, I appeared healthy and whole. A woman who was strong, secure, and living out her exact purpose. I was confident in my life choices, boldly pursuing new frontiers in God’s global work, and calling others to follow suit. I was doing a lot of good, spiritual things.
But what if someone pointed that little red light at my heart?
I didn’t need an advanced technological tool to tell me the answer. There would be areas that glowed orange – areas still sensitive to God’s leading, passionate for His glory, and basking in His unconditional love. But truthfully, more areas would appear black than orange. Areas that were tired. Areas that were wounded and scarred by years of sacrifice and unanswered prayers and circumstances that were yet unexplained. Areas that had become hardened around the edges, fearful, untrusting, and apathetic.
If left as is, the damaged walls in my home would begin to give way and the carpet would begin to mold. The same was true of my own heart.
I wanted to glow fully orange. God was using a flooded living room to catch my attention and flood my own heart with His gentle correction and truth.
Everything I was investing in the lives of children, into the ministry I lead, came from my own heart – the heart of a leader. The damages there would eventually seep in or destroy those things if not taken care of, regardless of my mission-minded, “Jesus-get-the-glory” ambitions.
In championing the cause of Christ, in raising children to be lifelong, world-changing followers of Jesus, we must first and foremost love the Savior who loved the world. His global story must excite our own hearts first before we can pass on that vision and love to our children and those around us.
When we begin to lose that, it’s time to stop and refresh, time to dry out the yuckiness that has leaked into our souls and renew ourselves with the truth of a God who has painted the pages of history with purpose and hope.
Sitting on my couch (temporarily positioned in my kitchen), I listened to the hum of dehumidifiers circulating the air that was minute by minute healing and restoring my home.
Jesus, breathe afresh on me. I want to fall in love with You and Your story and Your people with the same sweetness as I did in the very beginning. Heal everything that has become dark in me. I want to glow healthy and whole – not just on the outside for the sake of others, but on the inside where it matters most to You.